LESSONS

 I am in a constant process of transformation. I learn from any and everything. When I look at d birds, I learn the freedom to fly. Even if I never grow wings, I take solace in the fact that was I to grow them; there is a sky to fly in. When I look at the ants, I learn d lesson of storing for rainy days, d knowledge that d ants start from a little bit of clay attached to another before the colony teaches me the lesson of perseverance and determination. Nothing explains a journey of a thousand miles beginning wit a step like them. As I go on in life and see how d minutest of decisions can fulfill or alter the plans of our lives,

I've made it a duty to think thrice, check my thought again and again, Never to live for the approval of others, to strive for self actualization, to quit taking defeat while I stoop, to always explore the opportunity to be better, to see d good in others no matter how difficult it might be, to love fiercely, To despise just a little, to forgive and not necessarily forget, to acquire the humility of great men, to be undisturbed by other people's business, to make sure to at least pay a good deed forward everyday, to respect the feelings of others even if I don’t understand them, to stay away from grudges so I don’t overload my heart, to passionately seek that which pleases, never to give up and ultimately, to share the love of God abroad my heart and the hearts of others. lessons keep me in a constant process of transformation...

CHANGES

Inspired by a blog that I read which had something to do with personality changes over time, I decided to write a little something about certain changes in my life too. Not necessarily personality now, more like my change in taste of men.

1-6 years: I was intensely in love with my dad.

 This age range showed me in intenseandwhoopingslapacrosstheheadswooningeyesdramatic love for my dad. Everything he did just seemed extremely right. I wanted to have his kind of clothings, wanted to speak like him, infact, I “adore-lized” him.

6-10 years, I began to realize the presence of other men.

At this range, I began to explore the possibilities of the existence of variations in the male specie besides my father and my elder bro (I never noticed my bro tho, eyes rolling and sucking teeth). I really did not fantasize about any man for a while. As I edged on closer to 10 years, I remember having a real crush on certain looking boys in my elementary school. At that point, I can clearly say I was attracted to good looking and serious minded boys. I had a strong thing for boys with good grades and great style (not that there was much of style as we were mostly dressed in uniforms). U knw that line between a nerd and a rad boy?...well, yh, that point.

I moved into the realms of 11-15, stuck in the rut stage.

For starters, I realized at this point that I wasn’t one of the cool girls…at ALL!!!!. I was constantly attracted to guys that will not even take a look twice. I was quite attractive with pretty good looking body, but I guess the guys I liked in elementary school felt like it was time for them to like me, while I had moved on to totallycoolwithoutgoodgradeskinda guys. Unfortunately, these kinda guys saw me as good girls so dint want me. Then, ghost of recent past began haunting me; the guys with good grades!!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately, they still dint have style. The ones who had style and liked me just dint have good grades…sad

16-to God knows when..still wondering

I began to explore more options. I fell in love with various kinds of people. I however realized that I met quite a number of gutsy males. If a guy is cool with good grades but is not willing to be a lil unpredictable or even seem a bit crazy, then, he isn’t worth the effort. Crazy is quite objective. I do not mean rave staking mad, I just want someone who might think outside the box a lil more. Not extremely abstract and unconstructive acts, nah…just a brother who knows how to make this sometimes dreary world worth living beautifully. I actually came to a conclusion that, good grades, coolness and “raddity” would not make the man. It’s all about how we all deal with one another. It will not suffice to say I have met my perfect match as at now, or I am deeply satisfied with all that there is, but I can guarantee that I will put my best into whatever it is that I have and try to continue to move. If my taste changes, I want the subject of my affection to be ready to be the new taste I might acquire. I am not willing to change the subject, just willing to tweak the characteristics.

Take this moment to appreciate the special ones in your lives. Make them know how far a journey it has been from childhood, and after various eliminations from the loving daddy stage till now, they are the last men standing. Happy Valentine

Thoinx…

Like a proverbial child.

I constantly stalk the blogs of others, leave with no form of comment and at most, with a few words. As I look back at my life, I realize I’ve always been that kind of person; one who comes and leaves highly unnoticed. That is not to say im boring considering the fact that everyone around me sees me as quite vocal and crazy. It is however that part of me which just finds it highly unnecessary to voice every of my opinion. Other times, I just feel like it’s highly unnecessary to bother the world with my self-propagating ideas. it all comes down to my lack of updates and tales on my blog despite the fact that my life has been considerably eventful. If I had to write a journal, I would have had to come up with something so I wonder why nothing pops as interesting when it comes to updating my blog. I did an intense soul searching and realized that I have a chronic case of procrastination and a high level of inconsistence. This is not only in my writing but in almost all ramification of my life. I have a very low level of consistency, I get bored with every and anything and in quick time too, I can sit still but in a restless manner as my very own thoughts come out in splurges like a #randomnopatternpainting#.

I am trying to make some decisions, not necessarily a new year’s resolution as the confining sentence in itself is enough to get me breaking all the rules. I need to up my game on all spheres of my life. I need not be too hard on myself. I have to learn to appreciate the baby steps and look towards a grand picture. I have to know when my goals seem too far-fetched and perfect in order to either revamp or infuse some beautiful imperfections. In all, I just need to do sth.

Im quite laid back but im extremely serious on the other end. Im not complicated but im not as easy as that sounds. Regardless of  all these, im grateful to have this blog, the few readers right now and the eventual multiple readers. Im grateful for an opportunity to be aware of my weaknesses and the willingness to work on them and above all, im grateful for the gift of life.

Life is a blank board, you are the painter;be a protégé and come out with ur best painting….mcyriuss

Thoinx