That Stench

That stench! That stench so strong and so pungent! I move away from him. Eventually, he leaves. Mmmmphhh! I heave a deep sigh. Eewww!!! I look around, I scan the room surreptitiously. I can't find him. Yes, he left but noo, he left the stench behind. He did. I'm repulsed. I can't breathe, I'm choking on that stench. I'm really choking. Thank God. It's my stop now. I stumble out like a drunk, like one rushing towards redemption, I run up the stairs to fresh air. I inhale deeply to cleanse myself of that stench. I walk off towards my destination. 

"Please,  i can pay up. I need more time. I lost all my money but I'm hardworking. I will get a job soon. This recession. Oh lord. M really trying. Please I am. Just give me more time."

She is crying and I look on. I wish I had some money. If I was financially buoyant, I would buy her a house. She is pretty and young. I wonder what happened. I see she can no longer pay for her apartment so she is getting kicked out. What will be her fate after? I hope she has family members. I hope she atleast has a car to stay in for a few days. I hope she doesn't have a little child to take care of. I wish life is fairer to her. I wish...

Her story.

I came from the Dominican Republic at the age of 20. I came with my uncle and his family. After I got here, I decided to go to school and got a degree in liberal arts. I got a small job that was enough for me to get by. I moved out of my uncle's house and moved in with my boyfriend. Together, we could afford the apartment and a comfortable living. He later lost his job during the recession and the pressure separated us. I struggled to continue paying for the apartment and when I could no longer foot the bills, I moved out and got a smaller place. 

Then my job began the troubles. They were beginning to feel the impact of the recession too. First, they reduced our pay, then cut off staff. Needless to say I was cut off like a withered branch of a tree left to fend for myself. With no tree, no root nor stem, I began to dry up even further. I ran from one menial job to the other. I began falling ill, thereby reducing my chances of retention at any job. Before long, I could not go on. I was kicked out just now. " I dnt want to be homeless"

At those words, the stench came arushing. Assailing my senses. I had goosepimples immediately. I looked at the young lady and imagined her with a stench . No. That will be so unfair. I had no money, nothing of my own to give to her. Maybe i tried. I listened to her. I gave her some time. Was I consoling myself or did I really do something for her?. I gave her a hug, got up and told her, "everything will eventually turn out fine". The truth is, I wasn't so sure of that. I just had to say something positive.

I began to think, " what can be the story behind those with the stench?" They probably had homes at one point. They had families. Maybe they were even dealt a very good hand at a certain time. I became scared for her. I dnt know her but I dnt wish the stench on her. I should have asked her to go back to her Uncle's but I could barely say much to her. I felt I owed her 100% of my attention. So, I just listened.

I am thinking now. What's that stench? Could it be a blatant disregard of our high handedness and callousness as a society, a reminder of our successful system but our failure as humans and our responsibilities to others? .

We can't reach out to everyone but can we look upon people with more remorse and empathy?

The stench will not go away; it stays as pungent but with a hidden story line. I still will not enjoy being where the stench is but if I have to, I wnt look on with disgust, but with empathy at the debasement that fate has forced upon a life. I will not relish the stench but I will not be full of righteous indignation. I will use it as a reminder to lend a helping hand when I can and be grateful for all mercies.

I hope she doesn't get to the point of that stench. I look at faces and pray she isn't the one with the stench.

There's always a lesson.

I, like many others tend to find lessons from certain mundane events of life. One came about today while i was in the restroom trying to do NO 2 in my school. it was a mind opening though cliché stream of events.. here goes:

  I got really pressed and was even excited at the thought of the relief i will get after. A lot of things seemed to be working in my favor. one, not a lot of people in school as it is the summer session; hence, i will have the bathroom to my self.


 I went into the bathroom and yes! i was alone. First deal breaker, here comes in this girl. My first thought, she came to do No 1. Alas!!! she came to straighten and curl her hair. I felt like, "oh well, she will have to contend with the smell and the ruptures from my butt hole'. Just as i was feeling all relaxed and ready to let go, here walks in another lady. Instantly, i clenched up and could not let go. I could feel tremors and rumbles in my tummy in reaction to my restraint. I held on and waited in patience. Eventually, they both left at the same time. I was so relieved and decided to let go. Unfortunately, my tummy had stormed off in anger and was no longer interested....


Bringing this home.

 Sometimes in life, we feel that the universe has aligned for our good. We get excited at the prospect of the achievements we are capable of. We trudge on, We plan, we even begin implementing and VOILA!!!. they come in; the criticisms, hindrances, "haters", they mount stumbling blocks, mountains, whats and whatnots.

We cringe, we begin to doubt ourselves and wnt let go. We impede our growth and stifle our dreams and just as they walked in, they walk out. Not looking back at the damages and ruins they left behind. We are left broken, angry and downcast at how easy it is for our dreams to be shattered. In retrospect, we could have stood our ground, made the noise, splattered our s#*t as we desired. We could have walked out relieved and achieved. Instead, we clench up, boiling on the inside at the blatant disregard for us. The truth is

It is our lives. We can do it as we please in as much as our actions will hurt no one. There are people whose jobs are to make the journey stressful but at the end of it all, it makes it worthwhile.


Cyriussly, 
Never let them walk away leaving your dreams in ruins. make your noise, do your thing and even if it doesnt come out as expected, take solace in the fact that you did not allow it to get stifled...

P. S: Sometimes, we are the stumbling blocks ourselves. These people might just be on their journeys also, not paying attention to us. We on the other hand are so worried about their perception of our own dreams and journeys that we undermine our potentials.

LET'S GO PEOPLE!!!

Not willing to fall into the cliché of New Year; new resolution, I decide to anchor it still (grins). Ok, yeah. It’s a cliché that I just went along with. I do not have new resolutions per say; I however have retargeted my past resolutions. The past years have left me with various lessons and somewhere in my head; this year 2013 seems to be the year in which I will exhibit all learnt lessons. I have a really good feeling about this year.

Spiritually,

I believe I started on a somewhat right footing. I have been committed to committing everything to God first. Right now, it might seem like there is no physical difference between this year and the past years; however, my psyche is so different, the energy is way more positive and im going around in high spirits. Im so spiritually spruced that even if anything goes unplanned (negatively) at this point, I believe it is to pave way for something even greater than I could have planned. Yes, I am that positive.

i dont know why whenever i think , spiritual fulfillment/wholesomeness, i think some kind of yoga pose. there must be something about yoga and meditation that transcends the usual. perhaps, it is the blend with the spiritual. it just seems to merge the body,soul and mind in harmony in a way that brings inexplicable peace.

Physically,

I am taking baby steps towards living a healthy life. cutting down my cake and chocolate consumption, increasing my H2O consumption, portion control and converting my gym to a shrine. In fact, im considering the hot yoga. 

For those who have done this before, how is it? my Asian friend thinks its the best thing for anyone. I'm not so confident about that. It requires you doing the yoga in a room with a high temperature of about a 105 degrees. The heat is supposed to help burn off fat while softening you up for flexibility. oh well, i am not even done with regular yoga.

Intellectually,

I am doing a book for a week bonanza for myself. It is regardless of what kind of book it is, as long as there is the propensity to impact knowledge therein, and then it is a book.

Financially,

Hmmm, this one, I can’t even tell all. Just watch out for me on FORBES, #darrisall#.

ITS FORBES BABY!!!!!

For the other parts of growth and development, we shall see. I will also keep you updated..

This is going to be a great year for all.

Stay tuned.. thoinx